How Turkish people get engaged

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Published May 9, 2026

This might be one of the most iconic traditions you’ll find in Türkiye. It’s called kız isteme—and it’s how engagements are done here. No one gets down on one knee. Instead, the whole family gets involved. I’m originally from Colombia, so this was all completely new to me. But with my mother’s help, I showed up the traditional way—carrying flowers and a box of Turkish sweets. That’s when it all began. We sat down with her family. My mom formally asked for her hand in marriage. And her grandfather—Dede—gave his blessing. Then came the moment everyone talks about: salty Turkish coffee. My fiancée added a spoonful of salt into my cup without telling me. And I wasn’t allowed to flinch. I held it together—barely. In Turkish tradition, this is how you prove you can handle the tough times in marriage. Next came söz kesme—the promise ceremony. Her grandfather placed two rings on our right hands, tied together with a red ribbon. Then my mom cut the ribbon, sealing the promise. I gave her a bracelet made of gold. And just like that, we were engaged. The whole evening ended with hours of music and dancing. They call it nişan—a celebration of what’s to come.

Category: Dating Across Cultures

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How Turkish people get engaged

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