For gay and bi men living in states without LGBTQ rights protections dating apps aren't just convenient — they're often the only available infrastructure for connection. There's a sense of safety in the digital distance they provide. But even that safety has limits. There have been countless documented cases of people creating fake profiles specifically to lure gay men — to beat them, to murder them. It's horrific. It doesn't happen on every app every day but it's happened enough and consistently enough that every gay and bi man using these platforms carries a level of caution and vigilance that straight daters simply never have to think about. That weight is part of the reality of dating as a queer person in America right now. And it deserves to be named.
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