The uncomfortable question you should ask on every first date

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Published May 26, 2026

Become a Big Think member to unlock expert classes, premium print issues, exclusive events and more: https://bigthink.com/membership/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=yt_desc If you’ve had trouble finding love, people have likely told you to stay optimistic and you’ll soon find it. But how realistic is that advice really? Alain de Botton unpacks why optimism can be antithetical to finding real love, and other myths that hold us back from it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Alain de Botton: Alain de Botton was born in Zurich, Switzerland in 1969 and now lives in London. He is a writer of essayistic books that have been described as a 'philosophy of everyday life.' He’s written on love, travel, architecture and literature. His books have been bestsellers in 30 countries. Alain also started and helps to run a school in London called The School of Life, dedicated to a new vision of education. Alain's latest book is titled Religion for Atheists and is published in the Netherlands, Italy, Korea, Turkey and Brazil in 2011 and in the UK, US and other territories in 2012. Alain started writing at a young age. His first book, Essays in Love [titled On Love in the US], was published when he was twenty-three.

Category: First Date Advice

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The uncomfortable question you should ask on every first date | Alain de Botton

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